Sea surge

The tragedy is "unprecedented", the devastation "unimaginable". So many countries hit in so little time. An earthquake in Aceh measuring 9.0 on the Richter scale, detected first by the US Geological Survey, causes a tsunami which hits Indonesia, Phuket, Thailand, Penang, Malaysia, India, Sri Lanka and even states in the East African belt. The toll is set to rise above the 100,000 mark before the year ends. International relief efforts have been sent from as far as the US, which pledged the highest amount of aid set at US$50 million dollars. Britain and Australia follow closely behind with pledges of US$30 million or thereabouts. And of course, the EU with its 25 member countries and the world's highest GDP per capita, donates a measly US$4 million, dwarfed already by the contribution from Singapore.

It's quite a sight, seeing how many different groups of people band together when a common threat exists. And once that problem goes away, we resort to the same behaviour of fighting among ourselves. Aceh is one of those states which wanted to break away from the Indonesian archipalaego, it's independence hopes crushed when the Indonesian military moved in. Now look at who go begging to that same government who not too long ago it was telling to screw off. And that military which was not too long ago shooting people in Aceh is helping with relief efforts. In Sri Lanka, no matter if you're Tamil or Sinhalese, Buddhist or Hindu, when the waves come, nature gives the same treatment. And because it's holiday season, we have tons of tourists from all over the world scattered throughout the many island resorts, which by the way consists of a large number of Europeans (EU better wake up), a truly international humanitarian crisis exists. It's strange that so many people must die before the rest of us wake up and do something, together. A tragedy of such proportions is necessary for international cooperation?

Furthermore, it's not a uniform level of commitment from all parties. As mentioned already, the EU has the most reason to help but seems to flounder when it is needed most (Iraq anyone?). Further demonstrates that they are just full of Chirac nonsense and irrelevant until they can get their act together. However more tellingly, it depends which country you are from that the aid amount differs. The Bam earthquake in Iran last year was just as bad, but guess what, you're Iranian and since you insist on holding on to some nuclear technology, go rebuild your own damn country. The fault of the government burdens the people. But guess what, in government you get what you deserve, and from a theocratic government which the people ushered in less than 3 decades ago, this is what you get. No aid and lots of bullshit on the international stage. In Indonesia, where the democratically elected President watches as key members of his government who are needed most in this crisis cut loose and run, corruption runs rampant. The disaster is a reminder that unless SBY is serious about dealing with corruption, this is the kind of crap he faces each time the shit hits the fan. Instead of ministers doing their job when they are needed, they find the nearest hole to hide in.

I live less than a thousand kilometers from the epicentre, and felt the slight tremors which reverberated throughout the island when Aceh was hit. No tsunami, thankfully, but no lack of compassion either. The amount of money donated by Singaporeans to date now goes several times above the amount the government pledged. The Red Cross alone has received the same amount the government has pledged from walk-ins to its office, and different organisations, even my former school, is doing something to help the affected people. I'm sure this scene is repeated in about any country on Earth with news channels now. Pessimists may say this is a slow week, and as news channels have nothing else to broadcast, the disaster takes centrestage everywhere and people get out all their year-end bonuses to help. In this case, even the pessimistic view has optimistic undertones. Individuals are doing their utmost in helping others they don't even know, putting money and aid in the hands of people far from their own homes. Shouldn't you too? Go to the Red Cross website and do your part.

They say it's an omen that 2004 ends in this manner, and the beginning of 2005 is greeted with such tragedy. But I say we must see the bright spark in the darkness, that in tragedy we see compassion for our fellow human beings, regardless of race, religion or creed. The event does not signal any change or reveal any new trends in world behaviour. Mother nature does not have a political agenda, if plates have to move, they move. No omens or portents exists, and we should not try to taint the new year with any predictions or otherwise. Right now, the most pressing thing to be done is to do what we can for the tsunami victims, and let learning to empathise be on our list of resolutions for next year.

Don

Faith keeps us standing

Invictus
by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

Believe.

Ring Out, Wild Bells
By Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

Merry Christmas, and may we remember those who serve and preserve the peace we enjoy. Oh, and screw the last line.

Don

Tis the season, again

I'm feeling totally stoned. 8 hours sitting at the Aeromedical Centre, with a stupid machine blowing air into my eye every hour, to measure my eye pressure. Not only did I discover how boring TV programmes are in the morning, I have discovered Einstein's Theory of Relativity all over again. The PAINFUL WAY. Time really passes more slowly when all you got to do is nothing. At least found a new friend while stoning my time away, VJ's volleyball captain. I look like a complete joke next to the guy, who is buffed and looks ready to punch my lights out. Good luck in NDU bro.

At least tomorrow promises to be an interesting day, with a good dinner and something to do after it. Hope we can make it more memorable, last few chances to meet before I go in, and haven't seen you since prom. I have no idea what to give you for a present, so I hope you don't get me one, and make me look totally guilty and embarassed.

Mogilan comes out on Christmas day, the guys(tm) will probably surround him and find out more about army, and get to finally solve the mystery if the skin under all that hair on his head is truly as dark as the rest of him. Hope we can have a wonderful last meet at my place on the 31st, just like old times, like how we did when we were just getting into J1.

Just read about the bombing in Iraq, this one hitting the mess tent for the troops. It's odd, the season for peace is just around the corner and militants are taking the chance to hit out at the troops. US is closing the consulate in Surabaya because they are afraid that with Christmas, they are most likely to be bombed by militants. What respect these barbarians show for a peaceful celebration, and this gives proof of how stupid religion can make people become. The holier the day is on the religious calender, the more likely violence is about to break out, even if it's the celebration of peace and joy. What irony. Perhaps if we spent less time celebrating the birth of Jesus, and spent more time on actually building peace around the world, perhaps if we stop spending money on gifts for people we know and put that money in the hands of those who deserve it, perhaps if we just stop fooling ourselves in mindless beliefs which are more than 2000 years old and totally inapplicable in the world which exists now, and put that faith into people who actually do a goddamn thing in making peace possible today, we would have that world of peace and joy every damn Christmas carol goes on and on about.

The iconic hypocrite, I am. I have no idea how I'm going to build that peace and joy, even the chance seems slim. MM Lee just gave had a Q&A session to some foreign correspondent's society in Singapore, and damn if that the guy isn't the most well informed man this side of the world. Who ever heard of the Maastricht Agreement? He can talk about the state of the Euro, the state of Sino-Singapore relations, and the state of Myanmar with impeccable knowledge on all of them. Anyway, he was asked if Singapore would commit troops to Iraq, and to that he gave a flat no. Although the reason was valid, parents would probably object if their sons were forced to Iraq during NS, and the corp of regular soldiers are all officers, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. Singaporeans still can't give a shit about lending others that hand. I hope when I get in, maybe one man can make some things change, and that deployment may be more than just a dream. And wearing a blue helmet won't just be another unfulfilled promise to myself.

Charity sees the need not the cause.

German Proverb

To be. Or not.

It's quite an experience, when you sit in a chair facing an interview panel which not only holds the power over allowing to get what you want, but loves to get into friendly conversation with you as well. Irony? It's not been my first time facing such high stakes cloaked in cheerful banter, prefect and council interviews, head-prefect interview, GC, AC interviews. I guess this is different because for once, I was not sure if what the panel had to offer, was what I wanted.

"So why do you want to be fighter pilot?"

"I'm not sure I want to be one." Ouch. You can imagine the stares I was getting for that one. Facing a trained psychologist, 2 senior pilots and a lieutenant colonel, I did as I usually do for interviews, tell the truth. The whole, bloody, stinking truth. And nothing but it. I swear.

And sweat for my answers too. The interviewers were relentless, giving me the rope to hang myself. I guess I was quick enough to tie the lasso and throw it back on them, because surprise surprise, they gave me the letter. With a contract in it, to be a pilot trainee and work with the air force. You would think I'll be jumping for joy, being offered a career before A level results are released. I thought I should too, but look at me now.

Confused, totally and utterly without an idea what the rest of my life should be spent on. I looked at the contract all night in the chalet, and this morning I look at it again with the same feeling. This was a dream come true, that childhood dream which I had not too long ago. But as I told the interview panel, I'm not a child no more. We grow up, we learn that there is such a thing as responsibility, the rose-tinted glasses come off.

I spent the night at Sentosa with the Group, playing Risk and listening the GC debate the same things we did not 2 years ago. They still have the idealism to carry it through, and I envy the innocence they still possess. The old boys were just there to relive old times, when the world was so much simpler, just Scouting and schooling. I look at those faces last night and the guys no longer seemed young and eager as they were when I met them in Secondary Two. But they were just as passionate to get that innocence back. We played and drank the night away, with Risk and stupid dare games and lots of Coke, no beer or alcohol. Just as we had before. We talked and listened, stoned and did lots of thinking. What future to come, what had past, didn't matter because the important moment was the present.

And now, the letter stares me in the face again. The future. What's to come, and I can decide it now. I must.

"The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past."
Robertson Davies

Hold the line

"For the honor of the fallen,

For the glory of the dead,

The living line of courage held the faith,

and move ahead."

Hope.

The end, prom nite came and went. But the devil is in the details. It started off on a wrong foot, and almost ended up a disaster. But I guess the saving grace was not in the event itself, but what it meant to me and the rest of those I know.

Many saw prom as the end, graduation as goodbye and farewell. But I guess I got a better deal, making a new friend, hopefully a good friend, in one night. It started off rather coldly, but I guess all things take time. The photo-taking went like the flash of the camera, many snaps but soon it fades. Then I thought I had lost her in the crowd, or she had gone back to the room, and I had absolutely lost my chance to have the chat I had looked forward to all evening. But she didn't disappoint. The long walk to the Esplanade, the initial reluctance, we overcame. We talked, walked, sat, and talked some more. So many things I learnt in just two hours, and I so wish I had known her earlier. There was so much yet to be said, but I guess, the rest of it will have its own time and place. I hope to meet you again soon.

Sitting at the lobby at Conrad, I was stilled psyched up, and I'm just the luckiest guy around I guess. So many people popped by, and conversation was light, but poignant due to the inherent goodbye. Pamela and her uniqueness, Lingli (rest assured we haven't said our final goodbye) and ... , 'Mum', the scouts, the old classmates. I just sat on the sofa as the world popped by, alone at first but soon enough surrounded by familiar company.

0400, though not everyone appeared, it was still significant. Shows one thing, the scouts never play out. Never disappoint. And I guess the sense of virtue and honor which 01 instilled in us still holds strong, we are still the 'guys of honor'. No one can ever take that away.

Then silent walking, along the Esplanade, WWII memorial, Padang, City Hall, all the way back to the hotel. It was precious time spent on precious thought, memories. I have eluded sleep long enough, but in the process, found some hope, of something new and promising. I'm going to do my best to make sure this night has not gone to waste.

"Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible."

Stanislaw Lem

The new beginning

...This is the preferred prom gear.

A Marine's dress blues. I wonder if I can ever get the honor of wearing that. As a Marine. I have an idea of how to get myself in those shoes, but a chance which is so small that it is tempting to say there is no chance at all. Perhaps all I need is some time in the military, see how life is, then maybe I can make a sound choice. But truly, I see myself in no other vocation which can sustain me for the rest of my life. Perhaps just a short-sighted youth with no work experience speaking now. I will get that chance soon, a military life awaits me, but I guess I'm going to enjoy my first months of basic.

It's over, an entire chapter of my life. Studies no longer, I will probably reminisnce of this period of life where everything did not matter so much, where innocence still existed as more than just a word in my vocabulary. A reality which will disappear, with the real world sinking in deeper. It's funny how we always look back in wonder, at how we never appreciate the moments where time didn't matter, and life was simply a joy. I probably will only remember the camps, my failed attempts at soccer, my first three months in AJ, my JC life with GC, the Guys(tm), my abysmal friendships in JC, and that overwhelming urge, to join the military. Perhaps I am made out to fit well in SCHCDO, SPECWARTAC.

Prom is the only day in my calender now. A long goodbye, and I truly hope, a last friendship to be made which would last. Thank you for acceptance. I hope I can make the best of what you have offered. May a friendship blossom in fading light.

A true waste of time again, but salvaging as always, a quote.

Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey that reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we live it. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.
-Captain Jean Luc Picard

Don't give a damn about legacy, it will build itself from the way you choose to spend your life. Spend wisely.

Don

This is how I look...In prom gear. But...

Rounding the bend

What's round the corner? A question the Marine may be asking, and me as well. The conclusion of 12 years of schooling, and I'll be in the army next year. The next step will be stepping into the unknown, but what's round the bend you won't find out just standing there. I'm going to have to take the plunge, and find out just what life, army life, has to offer.

Just visited the blog of the guy who ratted out on the Marine unit he followed. Truth, that's his prerogative. He needed to make sure he put out the truth. Let the truth set you free they say. But that's just it, it doesn't. It just put someone behind bars, and made the battle for peace in Iraq one notch more impossible. Margaret Hassan's death occured around the time the news of the Marine shooting came out, Al-Jazeera chooses not to publicise the footage of her killing, but splashes images of the Marine shooting all over the headlines. Truth?

Fact, Marine may not have followed Uniformed Code of Military Justice. Fact, he would be punished nonetheless, with or without the publicity. Fact, Margaret Hassan was executed. Fact, she was defenseless. Fact, she helped the people of Iraq. Fact, the people who killed her are still on the loose, and people put more emphasis on the shooting of a known insurgent who probably killed innocent civilians. In all these facts, where is the truth? Our journalist publicised a fact, which simply hid the truth, and put a false image in peoples' minds, that Marines just enjoy nailing themselves some 'hajis' and totally give no shit about the rules. The media as a source of truth? That's a new one, anyone watched "Wag the Dog"? Truth can be created, and the media can manufacture one, splash pictures it creates and sway you with its words.

Hiram Johnson once said, "The first casualty when war comes is truth". Truth is something to be sought, the carrot on a stick which is always just a finger too far. We chase it, but it just remains out of reach. Does not mean we lose faith and forsake it, but we shouldn't go out of our way to distort it. Facts like the Marine shooting go out and simply skew the truth further, not bring us closer.

What a world I will go into. Where falsehood is perpetuated by facts, and the truth remains so elusive. The lesson which education will never teach, just experience. Before I lose my rose-tinted images of the world, and lose the belief that everyone can make a difference in this world, I can only hope that I do something to prove that perhaps there is still some good left in this world for me to save. Let's hope Mr. Frodo was right.

Don

The battle is over, but is victory one step closer? Is Iraq one battle less? Or has Fallujah been just the beginning? Mosul, Ramadi, Baghdad? Like late Yasser Arafat once said, to the United Nations General Assembly, "Today I have come bearing an olive branch and a freedom fighter's gun. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand." Yasser Arafat could not stop his organisation from fighting, the olive branch fell and Israel and the dream of Palestine seems as far away now as it was then. Will a free Iraq, from dictator and now more importantly, from fear, ever have a chance? Someone get those Marines an olive branch each.

It don't mean a thing, man. Don't mean a f***ing thing

Marine shoots dead an insurgent. Now, this probably ain't news-worthy enough, so they probably had to give it a nice spin.

Marine shoots dead a wounded insurgent. Still doesn't have a ring to it...

Marine shoots dead a wounded, defenseless insurgent at point blank range. Wow, that totally will flood the headlines and totally make everyone MORE pissed off over the war in Iraq. Put some footage of a guy blowing away someone lying prone on the floor, and you got your story. But guess what, here's some news to that dumb embedded reporter who decided to screw the guy who had ensured he was alive to send that footage out.

It's war, people get killed. All the time. No matter who you are, what you do, once a bullet comes at you at 1100m/s, you don't have much of a chance. Plus, it seems every coverage of that story only wants to show the shooting part, ignoring what had happened to that unit earlier. The marine had almost had his cheek blown off, they lost a man to insurgents who pretended to surrender, and they just spent the better part of last week clearing street after street of people wanting to kill them. In those kinds of situation, the guy lying on the floor PRETENDING to be dead could well be holding a fragmentation grenade and waiting for me to walk near him (which the insurgents have been known to do way too often.). It seems the BBC is the only objective voice here, actually telling what had happened to the unit before they entered the mosque. Perhaps American media should learn a lesson from their Atlantic neighbour, and learn to tell THE WHOLE TRUTH.

Now that marine is waiting to be charged with violating the rules of war. I wonder how civilized those insurgents were when they blew away an aid worker. A woman. Nobody is complaining about that. Headline: Insurgents kill innocent, defenseless aid worker, who spent the better part of her life helping Iraqi children get on their feet again. Who railed against Clinton and Bush for the sanctions. Who was helping others till she was kidnapped and killed by insurgents. Margaret Hassan, a true heroine.

Nobody gets surprised at those headlines anymore, I wonder why. We truly believe that this insurgents no longer need to follow the rules? And the American soldier who must fight them have to follow military code of conduct or face being charged? Very soon, we'll have another Vietnam, because the media seems to give no shit about telling the whole truth, giving that sensationalist view of Americans killing 'innocent' insurgents, rather than insurgents killing real innocent civilians. Why report a single insurgent who had previously been trying his best to kill Marines and civilians, when everyday a bomb goes off killing tens of hundreds of civilians? Many more will die if the US were forced out of Iraq before its mission is done, and all because CNN or NBC needs a headline.

The good guys need to follow the rules when fighting the bad guys. Agreed. The bad guys need not follow the rules. Agreed. But let's not put more stress on the good guys anymore. They got a war to fight, an enemy who follows no rules to defeat. They don't need to face the prospect of having their faces plastered all over the evening news because they made a mistake. They don't need others to make judgements on them, blowing up minarets, where snipers are hiding, and killing wounded insurgents, who for all we know might be holding a grenade. Others who make judgements while they sit peacefully in their offices, or homes, without mortar rounds coming in on their heads, and can be certain they won't have an IED, AK-47 or RPG going off anywhere near them.

The title, it's a favorite line among GIs in Vietnam. They no longer saw the point in fighting an enemy, if all they were rewarded with was condemnation and scorn upon reaching home. A war they never volunteered for, but were drafted into. A war the media dramatised to get troops in, then dramatised to get troops out. Vietnam was a tragic error, like my history essay said. Let's not make Iraq one too.

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf"
-George Orwell

Let's not forget that.

Don

The picture in my head, an impeccable illustration. The Enterprise leaves dock, as I imagined. The songs plays in the background. Then it goes to warp, the song slowly fades away. The hope of humanity, away on its maiden voyage to explore the great blue. A picture truly says a thousand words.

I.D.I.C.

"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations". Vulcan philosophy, that tolerance is the key because diversity is inevitable, since the universe is infinite, and like it or not, we're stuck together on this puny Earth. I guess it is the brainchild of Gene Roddenberry himself. Interesting that the things which mattered in the 1960s, still matter now. Old prejudices die hard, and we take time to change. Or will we ever?

Nazis and their "Final Solution", America and the Civil Rights movement, apartheid in South Africa, even now, the branding of all Muslims as terrorists. All are instances of when we try to achieve uniformity, and deny that diversity is all around us. Perhaps Star Trek needs to make a huge comeback, teach the lessons all over again to a generation which came upon "ethnic cleansing" as a new term, where wars are fought because we cannot stand each other. The fundamentalists are again running the show, with their own notions of what is good or bad. While they battle, the innocent suffer. While Fallujah burns as US and Iraqi forces battle the insurgents, the civilians are unable to get any medical aid. No food, water or safety. Perhaps the insurgents like to see the suffering, maybe that's why they keep taxi drivers and innocent civilians in slaugterhouses in the city, and torture and kill them only when US forces arrive. US places approaching? Mosques are protected under the Geneva Convention, let's shoot at the Marines while hiding in mosques and get them to blow up those minarets! Excellent Kodiac moment, while those dumb embedded reporters film all that down and label the US as insensitive and barbaric while we sit in the basement torturing innocent civilians!

Everything is a symbol these days. I blow up a mosque because the enemy fires at me from inside it, I'm labelled a hater of Muslims. Even Yasser Arafat can't get a final resting place in Jerusalem because that would mean the Israelis recognise the Palestinian claim that Jerusalem is part of Palestine. All that religious talk about forgiveness and tolerance, from both Jews and Muslims, and a man can't get his final resting place because of politics, that's got to be a first. The Israelis don't earn any brownie points with that gesture of theirs, they're simply perpetuating the endless round of violence they want to put a stop to. How many more lives does it take for something to become wrong? When did numbers matter more than actual morality? People obviously don't give a shit about what their religions preach, as they continue to keep a conflict which should have ended a long time ago going.

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. Perhaps like in the Earth in Star Trek, when we start World War III and nuke ourselves to oblivion and back, then we might understand, and treasure, what it means. Question is, will we get that chance to survive Armageddon?

"If man does find the solution for world peace it will be the most revolutionary reversal of his record we have ever known."
George C. Marshall

Satellite picture of Fallujah. As usual, the "insurgents" are cowering in mosques or schools, to avoid getting shelled by the American and Iraqi forces. Perhaps it has to be mentioned again, there is no chance, not even an iota worth, that the insurgents are going to triumph. They keep locals back at gunpoint so they can have human shields against the Americans, and they continue to take hostages like nobody's business. Don't think that'll work wonders for their public relations, but I guess the image of terrorists is bad enough that nothing can save it. They'll lose Fallujah in the next few days, then run to Ramadi, which they'll lose again in a couple of months, maybe even weeks. Where next? Perhaps they haven't seen that the US is determined to ensure Iraq is safe, and Iraqis themselves want safety and stability above all else. Keep fighting, but be assured, you're going down. Hard.

SEAL team. Get in, get down, get them, and get out. Enough said.

I am my father's son

It was on Saturday, after tuition when I had dinner with my dad, both of us sharing a meal. He talked to me about the issues for the family, especially my sister's dismal results. Previously, he has told me about the business opportunities, asked me for my views and what he planned to do. We talked about my future, most probably in the military, and at that moment, it may have seemed how similar I was to my father more than 2, 3 decades ago. He gave me his usual warnings about how the army works, that I must be academically accomplished or I will be a nobody. But through the warning, I heard the unspoken words, (perhaps my over-active imagination at work) "My son is turning out so much to be...like me."

I don't know the circumstances that led to my father joining the army, he may have done so out of necessity. But it may be just like mine, a genuine desire to help others, and at the same time, see the world. It would be an interesting moment, when I am the one in uniform, and my dad pins on my stripes. That would be a dream, not the President handing the sword of honor to me, but my father, and so I could salute the man who has done so much for me.

Would my family be proud of the course I have chosen in life? I do not know, but I know that they would be happy at least that I choose to walk my own path. To honor, and glory? No, I think something simpler would be more fitting. To ideals, and dad.

Don

The forgotten. Values over troops in Iraq? America may have just voted wrongly, and these Marines may have to suffer their mistake. Would President Bush be the right choice for Iraq and the rest of the world? Only time will tell. 4 more years will tell. http://www.time.com/time/photoessays/ramadi/

It's almost 3, I ought to make this short. One day from my greatest fear, Maths C 9233 Paper 1. Guess it's nothing compared to the terror these Marines will be facing in Fallujah. I don't know about the comments some of them made, that "Satan is in Fallujah. And we're going in to fix him." Naviete? I guess they live up to how Lord Alfred Tennyson describes the soldier in "Charge of the Light Brigade", "Theirs not to make reply,/ Theirs not to reason why,/ Theirs but to do and die."

The higher ups will do the thinking for us, we're going in just to kill the bad guys, the generals and the President will make sure we're fighting the right people. No children in the streets, no fraticide, no innocent civilians. The insurgents will have horns on their heads, tails sticking out their butts and carry pitchforks, not RPGs and AK-47s. Right?

Right?

Ain't she a sight for sore eyes...

When will your moment come?

The inspiration for the title of this page is a rather odd one. It's one of those things we think up in the middle of the night, when the restless mind refuses to submit to sleep. I think it was a few months back, after June Common Test, when I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I had just finished reading "A Company of Heroes", the exploits of Mike Durant during his capture in Somalia in 1993, after the operation to capture Aidid's top lieutenants went horribly wrong. I think it would be easier for most to remember it as "Black Hawk Down", the book and the movie which tried to capture the essence of that day in history. Two names stay with me after personally reading the book and watching the movie (I was watching the NC-16 film while I was 15). Their names stick because of the actions which they undertook to save the lives of their comrades, that of the crew of Super-64. Randy Shughart and Gary Gordon, I have the greatest respect for both of you.

The title came to me, because as my sleep-deprived mind wondered that night, I came to a sudden realization that perhaps all of us have that one moment when a choice had to be made, the definitive point in our life, where all previous actions and deeds pale in comparison to what we had to do next.(maybe the caffeine I had a few hours before sleeping was getting to me) It was the moment when nothing we did before ever mattered, rather, it was our next step which meant everything. Heroes I guess, are made in that moment, when that one choice would define you, where either you simply choose the highway to obscurity, or your own way to live on in eternal memory. Therefore, a moment for eternity.

Perhaps it may be a bit too simplistic to think that one deed would serve to validate our personal existence, but being the idealist I do think we each have our own personal choices which would affect people around us, and how we go about resolving our issues show who we are. Though the choices matter, I guess the experience is still the most important. I do hope that when my moment for eternity comes, I choose my way.

Choice. Today's General Paper comprehension passages delved into it, whether too much choices in modern day life is a bane or a blessing. My personal view is that though life is not our choice to make, how we live it is and always has been our own choice. Having only the contemporary worldview, it may be an over-generalisation on my part, that my ancestors had as much choice as I do, but it is my view that the fundamental choices in life exist now as they have before. Perhaps education is the key, that with more knowledge come more complex decisions. Therefore is ignorance bliss? Less choice better? An endless path we tread on now, and I choose to stop.

America has made its choice, and it is George Bush for another 4 years. I only hope he sticks to his word, unlike 4 years earlier, when he said he will be a unifier. The world and America has become more divided, even polarised, since he took office. I only hope we do not descend into chaos because of irreconciliable differences, and truly hope that we can rise above to find common ground and seek understanding rather than war. Then we can concentrate on digging Osama's ass out of the hole he crawled into, and send him on his way to Paradise.

Ideals don't come cheap, if we want peace, then we must prepare to combat those who threaten it. I've always been of the mind that force is necessary because there is such a thing as irrevocable evil, that will not compromise. Pure evil, and we can only protect the ideals we hold dear with M-16 in one hand, the other extended to offer peace if and when we find the source of evil eliminated. Osama is one source, the others are all the radical teachers of fundamentalist, extremist religious and social beliefs. Terrorism may have many tentacles, but an octupus still has a head which a 5.56 round can easily ventilate. The old axiom, that old men talk while young men die, still holds true. Take out the old trash-talkers like Osama and Bashir, and young men would have a chance to live again, to utilise their lives in service of peace and all mankind.

Off the deep end again, I have a tendency to ramble into the totally incoherent. Again, I provide salvation in quotation marks, a quote from John Stuart Mill.

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing is worth war, is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

Sincerely,
Don

Captain's Starlog, November 3rd, 2-0-0-4

Change is the only constant. How true that rings now. I always criticised others about blogging, saying how childish it is, and that it was attention seeking behaviour at its worst, since it clogs up an already garbage-filled Internet. Then change occurred, I start to see things from their view, and found that it is indeed a good way to let off steam, and keep tabs of our own growth, as we grow from strength to strength. History, even if it's only our own, in the making, with each new entry. I believe it was Frodo who said that the best anyone could get to living forever was in songs and books, and though the Lord of the Rings was a work of fiction, it is without doubt the method with which Tolkien will live on forever.

First entry, and yes as seen in the title, I am clearly a Trekkie, though you could consider me a late bloomer. I didn't grow up on Kirk or Picard, but the most recent iteration, Captain Jonathan Archer. My starship is the NX-01 Enterprise, not the NCC-1701 classification, without deflector shields, tractor beams, phaser arrays and quantum torpedos, just polarized hull plating, spatial torpedos, phaser cannons and magnetic tractors. There was no Federation yet, no Prime Directive, just Starfleet with no Vulcan commanders. I saw the pilot while on holiday in Malaysia, Desaru if I recall correctly. At 1200 midnight, alone in the hotel room with everyone conked out, I saw the Enterprise hit the threshold at Warp Factor 5. I was at my lowest then, having screwed up Common Tests, and preparing to do worse for Preliminary Exams. My prefectorial term left me with nothing worth remembering, I regretted not spending more time on my scouting, feeling fatalistic when I looked at the sum of the parts of my life, and saw it amounting to zilch. Nothing.

That episode ended on a cliffhanger, though I wouldn't call it so, because it didn't leave me hanging. I was beamed up, metaphorically speaking. At the end the crew was faced with an ion storm, which was an uncertain obstacle, since Starfleet never equipped its crew with what it needed most then during its maiden voyage, experience. The navigation officer Ensign Mayweather (Dickens would be proud of how that name seems so ironic now) advises to go around the storm. But our captain simply looks at the obstacle facing him, smiles and shakes his head gently. "No. Let's go through it." I found a new way to look at things, and no longer did I see the predicament I was in as a bane, but an experience waiting for me to go through it, to explore and learn more.

The song which plays when Enterprise cleared its moorings, moving out of star dock with the rest of humanity watching, and Archer commanding, "Bring us out slow, one quarter impulse. Warm up the warp engines, we're going into the deep blue." It plays everytime I face an insurmountable obstacle, with overwhelming odds stacked against me. It plays, and speaks softly into my ears, don't always find triumph when it doesn't exist, don't admit failure and go away defeated, don't avoid the situation, go through it and gain what is most precious, the experience. From out of the blue, Enterprise pulled me from the gutters, and I am all the better because of it. The show gave me back what I sorely lacked to face my trials ahead, the idealism and the faith. At the end of my journey, I would love to say that despite regrets in certain points of my life, there would be no other course I would have taken.

Perhaps that is why I never found God like those who tried to convert me. To all those who have in one way or another felt hurt or doubted their faith in God due to me, I offer my mea cupla (I believe it is used in this context). I have found my own way of seeing things, and having faith in something more worthy of trust, that humanity is still human, as long as we believe in it and put our life's work to it. The world today may be a different place if we put more faith in ourselves, than in some divine being who might right our wrongs, and forgive our sins, and heaven or paradise would await us at the end. Instead of "In God We Trust", I humbly propose, " In Humanity We Believe."

Deep. I'm probably sounding like I have gone off the really deep end, like the Marianas Trench. But I guess I'm doing my little bit in pushing what I believe, hoping that perhaps I would do some good in this first post. If you manage to read up to here, I commend you for your perserverance, and put across this little notion, perhaps you may have gained something from the traumatising experience of reading through this storm of random ideas?

I'll try and salvage this experience for you, by making sure you do gain something from this. A quote, from Samuel Butler.

"We can do very little with faith, but we can do nothing without it."

Sincerely,
Don