20061221

Terra Firma


On familiar ground once again, even for just a short while. Cleared my review sorties and my subsequent prog cx again, with the same instructor who failed me the first time round. It was such a relief to get over this hurdle, albeit a small one. Circuit work ahead, and that's the major obstacle. I'm going to be expected to land the aircraft myself within 6 sorties, 6 hours of flying and I'm expected to be able to land by myself. Tall order, but then again, this is my life. Make the cut, or get the chop.
Came home yesterday, flew through all that weather and witnessed superior skills by the SQ pilot who had to navigate and land through the tropical thunderstorm yesterday. Cloud cover was present and at several flight levels, going as low as A030 I think. It was cats and dogs as he came in on the runway, with extra speed to counter the headwind I guess. He put her down fast, was a greaser landing, so smooth I didn't feel the touchdown, then pushed out the brakes fast. Impressive landing, here's to hoping I can do as I've witnessed.
Home now, all I can do over the next 10 days is catch up on food, life and love. I'm always working against the 4th dimension, time, in my line of work. Even having a break means having to put it to a timetable. Just hope to enjoy Christmas as it should be, with loved ones and a hearty meal. Let us enjoy the audacity of hope for a while longer, and see how far it brings us.
Don

20061210

Prog Cx

It's hard to face failure. I'm not ready to go home, don't know what I'll do if I can't make it as a pilot. How can one accept that his one dream in life is not something he can achieve? It's like in that scene in Serenity, when the Operative has seen the truth behind the Alliance, found out the conspiracy behind the Miranda massacre, seen that his 'world without sin' is but a living nightmare, and his famous last words to Malcolm,"There is nothing left to see". A man without a dream, without the one thing which keeps him wanting to breathe, from one moment to the next, has nothing left. He is nothing.

Failing my check ride brought that image in my mind, it's like having front row seats to my own funeral. Knowing how screwed up I was when I was up in the air, making the mistakes that even rookies wouldn't, I don't know what the hell I was doing here. I had gone up more than enough times, practiced my sortie both on and off the ground, and still I was making the errors that I had done previously. What was I thinking? Worse still, my first review flight went worse than my test, and I think the senior instructor who took me was stretching his vocabulary trying to find euphemisms to soften the blow to me. But it didn't take away the truth that I screwed up again, and worse than before.

My next review is on Monday, and this one is make or break. Shape up, or ship out. Everyone's trying to help me out, including the instructors, but it still boils down to me. Because I am in control of the aircraft, and I must fly her. I will, or I will come home. Then again, where is home when there is no longer any heart, no longer any man left.
A man needs no home when he has nothing left.

20061130

Desk of a pilot trainee


Laptop for entertainment in a world without TV, pictures of my other love, BOLDFACE actions to ensure I don't stare blankly at Death when he comes for me, cockpit mock-up to mental fly with, study guide and flight manual. And a picture to remind me why I'm here, lest we forget...

Don

20061123

cheesy neoprints

I got a C for my essay :( so sad. today is a sad day :''''''(

And i missed you a lot today.

So i went to scan our neoprints.

Ta daa~! so cheesy right hahas. aiya. don't care.

:)

Jinling

20061122

Break-neck

Consecutive day sorties, duties which stretch from before the sun rises, till after the sun sets (FYI, sun rises at 0500 and sets at 1900 here in Australia), and insufficient coffee. Things aren't slowing down for base closure, they're speeding up. I have to catch up with the pace, otherwise mistakes will be made. And in my world, Murphy isn't very tolerant with those who make mistakes. Those who go 10000 ft in the air tend to end up more than 6 ft under when Murphy strikes. Need to work, to study, need coffee and a bit of love.

Don

20061116

News Flash

Hellohellohello.

Brandon says he'll be back from 19th-29th december! yay! now is the time to extort him of meals!

Muahaha.

Oi brandon, remember your challenge k. heehee.

Boredly,
I Am Not Stressing You

20061106

Missing home

It's hard, to be away from everything you've known and been with for over 20 years. 1 month in Tamworth was a long time, but 10-12 months here totally makes it a whole new ball game. I miss my bed, my room, the food, the friends, my mum's, sis's, dad's and even my own 21st birthday. I missed our anniversary, I will miss many more days with you, i miss going out with you, holding you, seeing you giggle and laugh and smile and showing farnie faces. I miss home.

But I come here with a mission, a goal in mind. It's a dream to fulfill, something lifelong that I told you since our first 3 months in AJC. It's something which is so much a part of me, that I'm willing to get away from everything I love, just to come here and suffer long days, sleepless nights, endless duties, tears, sweat and blood. This venture was never going to be easy, I acknowledged that, but things could be done to ensure it doesn't get any harder then it already is.

I sacrificed everything for this one shot, to fulfill a dream. It means everything to me, to see through what I sought when I put my name on the dotted line a year ago. I don't know if you ever fully understood what this means to me, but now I'll make it clear. This is me, and I intend to invest the whole of my being to becoming a pilot.

I explained in the beginning of our relationship what this means, but now I hope you recall what I said then. I love you, and I just hope you can see it the way I do.

Brandon

20061102

A video of beautiful girls dressed scantily

Hello amomentforeternity,

You are getting boring cos your owner seldom write anything in you. so lemme feed you with a sexy video of beautiful girls dressed scantily.



Hmmph ok fine. maybe it's not exactly what you expected. it was just one of my rehearsals. but whatever. i think we're chio. spot me!! i'm one of the first 4 girls. and i'm not FAT muahahaha if you get what i mean.

Love,
So I Think I Can Dance

20061031

100 kts, rotate...

T/O done, still alive in Pearce. Moved in newer blocks here, now have limited capacity internet. Resorting to short updates, coz of time and bandwidth, I'm doing almost 1 flight a day. Tomorrow have another GH, so I got to prepare. First flight was stressful, but fun as hell, nothing on this earth can prepare you for a takeoff in a jet. WAY COOL. Will upload picts as i can, till then, lots of love. muacks to love, thanx for keeping ppl updated...

Don

20061001

where is dondon?

Hi everyone! brandon is too busy to blog now. he has left for Perth. so please don't call or sms to his handphone number anymore till further notice... unless if it's an emergency! or if you're willing to pay like.... err... high phone bills. meanwhile, flood his email inbox instead! or nudge him forever on msn!

Love,
I Am A Busybody

20060922

20060826

Jinling is the chioest girl on Earth. she's very smart too. And I love her oh so very much, not because of that. But because she is who she is. And I want her to have a very nice birthday, and give Piggy lots of love, even if the tickets were a better present. Muacks...

Don Don

20060809

Post mortem

I am human. As any other living, breathing person here on Earth, I am entitled to my own personal character. I may often be mild-mannered and have a cool disposition, but that does not mean I cannot become fiery at times. As like any other, I possess a temper, which I choose to control most times, but not all. Sometimes I lose it, but then again, is it not human to lose your temper at times? My temper may not show itself often, but that does not mean it is absent.

I make assumptions, but name me one person who doesn’t. Who wouldn’t assume that your own heart would carry on beating the next moment? Or that night will not follow after day? I make assumptions based on valid observations, or so I hope they are. If I don’t, then how am I supposed to carry on living in a world where nothing can be certain, or close to certainty? However, assumptions are one thing. Insinuation is another. One is something which one makes after observation, the other is implied by others already, in what they may say. It is because of this I watch the words I say, letting them pass by my gray matter before they leave my mouth.

But then again, I am only human. I get tired. My mind becomes lazy, it lets things get by. Things slip off my tongue, accidental but nonetheless still wrong. I make mistakes. But the apology exists for this reason. Because we would definitely make mistakes in our lifetime, the word ‘sorry’ exists for us to use it, and gives us another chance to correct the wrong. I have apologized many times in my lifetime, and though it may be a difficult word to use at times, I would use it if it was warranted. If it was warranted.

I have certain ways to deal with people. I love my friends with words, I treat all others with silence. Sometimes silence is better. With those you don’t know, it allows you to listen better to what they have to say. With those you may disagree with, it allows both parties to think clearer, and make for better conversation later. For those you hate, sometimes silence is a whole lot less vulgar. Whatever the case, silence lets us think about what was said before, and what needs to be said after.

When I am silent, I am thinking. I am trying to understand. I am certainly not slacking. There is a reason why I like silence, it allows me my own space sometimes. To space out my thoughts, let them run their course. Like in the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”, I don’t understand why people must fill the air with words. What’s wrong with silence sometimes? When two people are tired and having a bad day, wouldn’t it be worse to have both parties talking? Words which don’t carry what they mean get passed around, and worse still, tempers fly. Often over the simplest and most stupid issues we can find, which shouldn’t have surfaced anyway.

I am having a lousy week. It may not be worse than yours, and definitely does not compare to the Israeli soldier having to storm an enemy-occupied house or the Lebanese who just had his home shelled. But comparison does not make anything better. It never does. If it’s bad, it’s bad. Right now, I don’t feel like hearing another word. I don’t want to apologise. I cannot tolerate the slightest mistake. My temper is on a short leash. I want to have my OWN time. And you can’t do anything about it, why?

Because I’m simply being human. And since it takes one to know one, the only thing you can do for me? Understand, and empathise.

I am human, so are you. Let’s start acting like so.

20060729

What it takes



Seeing the images of war in Lebanon is a disturbing reminder of what can happen when we let things slide, sooner or later it gets out of hand and we get a catastrophe on our hands. The catalyst for the current war was a single soldier, now I don't think anybody even remembers his name already. The army has focused its crosshairs on Hezbollah, and will only stop with its complete annihilation. Or so we hope.

What does it take to end a conflict like that? Is it doomed to be a perpetual cycle of hate? All we hear everyday is another escalation, more people hurt, more blood spilled. Rockets bombard Northern Israel, or suicide bombers hit another market or bus or crowded street. Then Israel responds with bombings, and tanks roll into another town. While all this is happening, the UN sits in a meeting debating mere words to reach an agreement to send a peacekeeping force in.

I did a project on the cycle of violence in the Middle East in JC, think I got a B for it because none of those grading it could ever give a project on this subject an A. We see the violence and it makes our stomach turn. When both sides are right and wrong at the same time, who can we support? What would begin as a war to ensure the right to live, would end as a battle of those who are left behind from that war. If this cycle carries on, the inevitable last stroke would occur. That last escalation, which would mean unprecedented destruction. Who would make that last escalation? It doesn't matter, because nobody would be around to debate that anymore.

What can we do with such a dire situation in the Middle East? I no longer think anything can be done, we can only sit back and watch as basic humanity and rationality ends, while politics and irrational hate takes over.

20060618

Pursuit of happiness

Singtel obviously does not endorse my blogging at all, I have been totally unable to post anything from home, and the only way I can get anything online is by going to a wireless hub somewhere to post. Irritating as hell, but at least I've got some other way to put stuff online.

So basically my past few weeks have been rather relaxed, enjoying life as I promise I would before having to leave home. Finally got my license last Monday, and never felt such a sense of liberation before, removing the shackles of SBS and SMRT schedules, and away from the tortures of paying Comfort and Citycab another fare. Driving does have its down side (pump price and CTE jams), but hey, I'll rather deal with those then go on another ride with a taxi driver who doesn't know how to change gear and has a sense of direction so weak he can't find his way around Singapore with a GPS hardwired to his brain. Managed to drive my parents, my girlfriend and my buddies around, soon I hope I can drive myself to work.

Speaking of my buddies, just had them over yesterday to catch the World Cup matches last night. Admittedly I am not a fan of soccer, but much entertainment could already be derived from watching Jun Seng cringing dramatically as Ghana misses a goal, and Fabian battling it out with Zhaoyang and shouting "SHOOTO!" at the top of his lungs. Furthermore we had a special guest yesterday, Lau who makes a rare appearance at Guys outings once in a while. Sharing my lack of interest in the beautiful game, I was glad he still came at least to meet a couple of the Guys.

While walking him home very early this morning, we somehow arrived back at my level of happiness, and how I filled my time with things to occupy myself and fill my inner void. Lau probably didn’t notice it himself, but I knew that his evangelistic streak was making its appearance again. Somehow the purchase of my Xbox 360 and me getting the Guys over for a round of soccer, even when I talked about living life while having a girlfriend was becoming a routine, all of it narrowed down to a problem. There was something missing in my life. There must be. I may look happy on the outside, but inside I’m depressed and suicidal, because my life is seemingly incomplete.

No offense to Lau, it’s not that he was doing anything wrong on his part, I know it is the duty of every Christian to spread the word. It’s just that I can smell a sales pitch from a mile off. Maybe even 2. But here’s a counter-argument which I feel I am obliged to provide to those who feel their lives are empty, and that there is more to life then the ‘pursuit of happiness’ by being with friends and loved ones and having your own Xbox 360 to play with.

I am happy when I smell the shampoo in my girlfriend’s hair, or when she tugs my hand along and giggles gleefully as she spots a sale item which looks particularly appealing. I enjoy the company of friends, and their interactions. Putting Guys like Fabian and Alvin and ZY in a room elicits a smile simply from how they GL each other, and nothing can garner laughter better than watching a bunch of my pilot trainee dudes getting drunk off their arses. It’s these simple moments which give me the motivation to live on, and get from one moment to the next.

The problem comes in when we question ourselves, is there more to life then this? It is when the pursuit of happiness no longer makes one happy, and one is convinced that he or she needs something more in their lives. There has to be an eternal happiness, not that type of fleeting happiness which one derives from the things one experiences in life. There must be the Holy Grail in happiness, that one thing which will ensure happiness in any situation, and it lies with…well now it’s up to you to decide which name suits you better.

Lest we forget, having a religion doesn’t absolve you from having to pay your bills, or getting fired, or having a quarrel with the missus, or losing a loved one. It provides one with the mechanism to cope with sadness, and that is the crux of the issue. Religion is only a mechanism for sadness, or happiness. What can truly keep one happy, eternally? You could keep yourself full of marijuana at all times of the day, everyday, but even then, you are still prone to the low when the weed runs out. Truth is, eternal happiness doesn’t exist, and if you’re about to be convinced by someone selling the notion that believing in God is eternal happiness, stop and ask yourself, am I just getting more depressed listening to this guy?

So how can I be happy? The answer lies in that bit of gray matter which lies behind your eyes, above your nose and is encased in your skull. For me it’s simple pleasures like having loved ones over for dinner, or seeing a smile on that old lady’s face when you give her 2 dollars for nothing when she offers to sell tissue to you, or playing with a bunch of orphans and letting them be the pilot while you fly them around a room. For religious folks, it might be prayer or singing your lungs out every Sunday. But if your idea of happiness involves the police or armed forces in any way, I suggest a chat about it with your psychologist first.

What I’m advocating here is that everyone has his or her own way to being and staying happy, and we should respect that. It disgusts me when I have to fend off people who insist I’m internally unhappy, and that my pursuit of happiness is futile. I hope I don’t have to waste another breath in explaining to someone how my Xbox 360 can keep me happy, because it simply does. Do I have to know why it does? No. Sometimes, ignorance is truly bliss.

But if you’re unhappy, then what’s a surefire way to happiness? If you lack the $660 for an Xbox 360 Premium, then here’s a method which work for me almost all the time, and which people have proven to work.

Make someone else happy.

It’s as simple as giving a treat to someone you love, or just giving a dollar to the tissue paper auntie, or simply keeping a smile on your face. With those first steps, you are on your first steps towards your own pursuit of happiness, and happiness you shall get.

Don

20060531

Farewell and godspeed

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Today sent off my fellow course mates from 130 BWC, who leave for 130 SQN today. It was with a tinge of sadness that I could not leave with them, but I guess the sacrifice is worth it. Hope my buddy does well, and don't get too demoralised over there, seeing how he looked to be a bit low today as he walked through the gates. My turn will come in a few months, but till then, it's about making my rolling over worth the while. Time after all, is a luxury not many in my line get...

Don

20060516

and i love you too

Yay! someone loves us! he's so sweet! yup we're fugly and compatible woohoo! not to mention sweet and intelligent beyond belief and so totally happy together. aren't we sweet honey buns fruit tart apple pie sugarsugar candy darling light of my life? don't you love 'em 'passerbys' giggles

Love,
Fugly girl

20060423

Walkway



The walkway leads from the academic block to the canteen and hall. Every Rafflesian who has been to the Bishan campus, will remember the House and ORA boards, the wooden benches, the chairs and tables stacked inside the stairway to the top of the clock tower. The open air walkway with bougainvillea flower bushes on the second level, and that breeze that never goes away. This was the only photo I ever took from the Gryphon Lair, next to the prefect's room and the scout dens, a picture of just the shetted soccer field. Now walk that same walkway from the staff room and you hit a wall, cordoning off the construction site where once the canteen was. Where the physical world has left nothing behind, your memory carries on...

I used to just sit on the portion of the walkway where they cut off, inches behind the wall that stands now. The never-ending breeze would blow, and I would just have my random thoughts, or not even think at all, just taking in that moment between lessons, enjoying the view of the field or people walking to the canteen. Or watching the sun set, slowly but surely over Junction 8 in the distance.

Further on, it was the Gryphon's Lair, the relac corner above the canteen. It was the place for some carrom or board games, or just to sit on the old, discarded couches. If you were from 01 or 02 and more recently the RIPB, you would be in front using the lousy and loose powerpoint, connecting your hifi or radio and practicing some funk dance. Scouts would be having their meetings, or having first aid, rope tying or any number of activities in the Gryphon's Lair.

In the midst of all that activity outside the prefect's room, some poor prefects would be trying to plan an upcoming event, or would be holding a departmental meeting. The radio would be on to compete with the noise outside, the phone might be ringing off the hook with some teacher trying to reach a prefect for an event, someone would be shouting in jubilation for scoring an ultra-difficult win in carrom, the guitar would be playing as someone strums a tune, or at least trys to, and I would be writing in the board diary about that 'quite chio' gal.

Across from the PB room, would be the scout dens. The 01 den would be in its usual state, with that funny but familiar smell coming from the carpet from god knows when, and god knows what has gone into that carpet over the years. The cupboards lining the side of the den would be filled with patrol logs all the way from the first years of our group, the table surfaces would have been lined with notes for lashing or pioneering or (name your scout skill), 486 computers would be operating with someone playing some real oldie, older than doom or dune 2. Think really old. Some poor Sec 1 would be having his first lesson in playing expert carrom, getting trashed by a J1 or other who would be teaching the finer points on a seasoned carrom board (A secret which neither the prefects nor the 02 scouts have been able to crack, how 01 gets super-smooth and shining carrom boards without powder. I have made my , and shall say no more.) If you came really
late one nite, hear laughing and then bored voices, a long sermon-like speech on the essence of scouting, or just plain bullshit, relax, it ain't the moose head hanging on the wall of the den talking, nor have our dead old boys paid a visit. It's a GC meeting.

02 scout den? no comments, too boring. Oh maybe one thing, they like to throw shit over to our den, because the dividing wall between our dens is really that low.

Then there is the canteen, heaven on earth, provided you're willing to queue, you can find a seat or table without bird shit on it, and YOU ONLY ORDER FROM THE LEFT SIDE OF THE CANTEEN. LEFT SIDE. SAY IT WITH ME, LEFT SIDE OF THE CANTEEN. EMPHASIS IS FOR A REASON, REPETITION IS ALWAYS FOR IMPORTANT POINTS. LEFT, LEFT, LEFT SIDE. Drinks, dessert, WESTERN FOOD, and KI. Kampung Istimewa. Genetically modified HUGE chicken thighs fried with an oily but oh so wonderful batter. Nasi Briyani, only on Fridays, and only if you come fast enough and auntie can remember your name. Nothing else. Right side at ur own risk, it's your digestive tract so heed my advice if you want to continue having one.

The atrocious first floor toilets, where people eating from the wrong side will converge, and the banner painters, and the sportsmen who need to take a leak running in with their shetted boots, and the odd Rugger who has just been stepped on in training with metal studded soccer boots, and is bleeding profusely with a head wound above his right eye and getting his red Moor House shirt even redder, washing his wound in a basin where someone has spat in, washed his dirty hands or leg in, washed his paint covered hands with thinner in, and others we shall leave unmentioned. That odd Rugger is still very much alive...



And he is currently feeling nostalgic. That was the RI canteen block, as I remember it. Now there is nothing there, a construction site with piling equipment and cranes. Soon it will be the new auditorium, from 2007 onwards. Soon it will give some new Rafflesian his own memories, something he can hold onto even when he is old and graying, and the building itself no longer exists.

I guess this was how the Old Boys from the Grange Road or even the Bras Basah campus felt, seeing their school only in their memories. Bras Basah campus is now Raffles City, you can read the plaque for the memorial for Raffles Institution. Grange Road is now still part of MOE, but no longer a school. But I guess in feeling this sense of loss, I feel something else, that I have moved on somewhere in life, I am walking on in life. But right now, I'm just taking a glance back, through that walkway I have passed through, past that metal wall the world has constructed, but where my memory doesn't stop.

20060331

Happy Birthday to me.

 

So this is me, or a recent collage of what has been my life recently. Some photos are obviously not taken by me, and some seem totally irrelevant, but hey, I'm entitled to say what has inspired me right? After all, it's my birthday. I can't display some of the stuff I've taken, so there are some replacements for the things I can't put up. Overall, the things which matter to me most are in here, including the lady in my life now, who is coming over tonight to cook me dinner, even when I'm sick and grumpy and picky about what I eat (warning to her now), of which I am highly appreciative. I'm going to do something which I haven't done in some time, which is to end with a quote.

'Our lives teach us who we are.'
Salman Rushdie

Don Posted by Picasa

20060322

Omg brandon chen junhao you just melted my heart. i love you. =)

Jinling

20060307

Learning to fly

Absence makes the heart grow fond. When you're thousands of miles from home, on a dark, wintry night and after one hell of a sortie, you will wonder why you put yourself in such a position. Why did I sign on? Why do I want to fly? Is being a pilot really what I want? Such questions run through my mind during that time, and gradually I was losing the battle to fight on. I needed a familiar voice, who could listen to me gripe, who would tell me what is going on at home, who could just say, "It's alright." I gave her a call, and listening to her voice at the other end of a 3000 mile line, I found my little piece of heaven right there and then...

I sat quietly beside her, looking far beyond the rooftop to the docks in front of us. A gentle sea breeze blew, and our swing seemed to follow the swaying of the wind, the beat of our hearts. There wasn't much else to be said between us. I asked, she said yes, and that was that. That was all I needed, in that one moment. Her long hair stroking my face, my hand around her, the smell of her, all my senses were engaged, filled with her. That was my moment for eternity, the moment i said I loved her...

I held on tight to that moment, trying to feel again her warmth. The rain came down hard, and fast, and relentlessly. Lightning streaked across the dark night, illuminating the jungle which surrounded me. I was soaking wet, and trembling violently, and feeling so tired because sleep was being robbed from me by the rain, the 2nd night in a row. My shelter could not serve its purpose because the roof wasn't up yet, and left me exposed to the elements. My uniform was drenched, I could barely feel my extremities, and I was losing my will to fight on. The radio crackled, there was a lot of traffic even though it was 3 in the morning. Someone's structure collapsed, someone's area was flooding, someone was experiencing complications, someone needed help. Everyone wanted to go home. I was tempted to just call it a day, radio in and surrender. But I held on, because I knew she would have wanted me to. I gripped my rifle tighter, tucked it in close. I sensed her again, close to me, smelling her hair, touching her lips, and hearing her say she loved me. Tears ran down my cheeks, mixing with rain to become indistinguishable. I held on, because of her. Maybe this was true love, one that transcends all boundaries. A thousand miles away from home, in the middle of a tropical rainforest living up to its name, in the dark of night, soaked completely and trembling, hungry after days without food, I felt love. Her love.

Don

20060301

So the lady says

The first time i saw him. the first guy hand i held for a friendship dance. little did i know that this would be the man whom i'd go through so much together with, for the next 3 years and counting...

A typical RI boy in my impression. quiet, intelligent, a gentleman. i was impressed, by the way he carried himself. i wanted to know him more. he drew me closer to him with time, but seemed to be holding a distance at times. for the year or so, i was confused. i couldn't make out our relationship. are we heading towards something more? or maintaining merely a friendship is what he wants? as our conversations grew longer over the phone, and as our 'outings' got more frequent, these thoughts began to haunt me, more frequently, more intensely.

Inevitably, a turning point of our relationship has to come. i began to realise that nothing is going to happen between us. that i shall let things be the way, i perceived, as he wants. merely friends. i became more receptive to the advances of others, and paid less attention to him. guess i was somehow... annoyed? tired? of the ambiguity of our relationship. somehow, i decided that i had enough. i wasn't to dwell on him anymore.


The Lady

20060126

Reminiscence



I stood at the MRT station control, waiting for my friend who was late, again. 'He's closer to Yio Chu Kang MRT, and he's later than me. AND it's our first day of school, wtf.' I thought to myself. Watching the streams of multi-coloured uniforms passing me heading for AJC, I wondered if I was going to be late. Then i felt a tug behind me, Lau finally here. We made our way like mad dogs, not wanting to be late on our first day in school. Then she caught my eye, a gal in Cedar uniform, standing by the gate seemingly waiting for someone. I thot to myself, thank God i'm finally out of a boys school. Time to get to know more gals in JC, and smiled to the pretty gal in blue, who probably thot of me as a flirt...

...My luck couldn't be that great, could it? That gal by the gate, is in my OG? If I was going to be so lucky with gals, might as well juz wait for love to find me...

It’s been 3 months, a good 3 months. Life in JC was expectedly full of surprises, just a continuing wave of contradictions. In 3 months I found so many new friends, yet juz when we had got past the hellos, I had to say goodbye. In 3 months I found another life outside of the rat race of top schools, but now was leaving to join back something I loathed. In 3 months I found someone I liked, and now had to leave her before I could love. It was so impossible, seeing her on the 1st day, then having her in my OG, then totally not talking after that. I thot we couldn’t click, that there was no chance. Thank god she had a nephew with my name, it’s funny wad kind of topics can get people talking…

Somehow we kept in contact, something kept us talking. We went out once in a while, for a movie or just a meal. The late night MSN sessions continued, then progressed to calls which went on forever. We talked, or we just kept silent on the phone, content only to know someone else on the other side of the line was ready to listen to anything if we opened our mouths. The relationship lived a paradoxical existence, and seemed it would have to meet its inevitable end, an end which came all too suddenly. I wished her all the best with the guy, let her go. I told her it was alright, what we had wasn't love. I assured her we would still stay as friends. I lied. The calls ended, the outings stopped. Who cut who off? It didn't matter, the result was the same. We, was now you, and I. Alone.

20060109

to smelly

Happy belated anniversary to mr smelly!

Thanks for all the bigsmall things that you've done for me...

Helping me move in and out... going shopping with me although you're obviously bored... sheltering me from the rain while getting yourself wet... popping by just to countdown with me... just being there wih me...

Sorry for showing you bad attitude at times... hope you'll still love me despite... hahas... thanks for putting up with me...

Heehees.

Loving you,
miss shot

20060105

amomentforeternity. hacked.

This is no don. this is a hacker. muahahaha.

I can't continue your story cos my story doesn't start from here.=P you write more first lah.

Omg who's that pretty girl in blue?!? huh!!? *mumblemumbles

Love,
hacker