It's been a long two weeks, spending a majority of it in the field. I'm totally burned out now, just came home from a gathering of my detachment. Few of us only, the others being totally off the bola and really not giving a shit about meeting up. "We see each other 7 days a week anyway." being the common line. Oh, and so is "My OC is a liar", "insert any imaginable line of complaint about life in the field". I don't get it, is kao bei so enjoyable? Must we be totally hypocritical and complain about everything under the sun, wait, everything including the sun? Everyone complains about the hot weather, then drinks up more then 12 litres of water everyday and pisses it all away all over the damn forest like water was free and easily available, forgetting that someone always had to fill all 100 jerry cans a few times a day. Everyone gets heat rash or abrasion, but don't give a damn about powdering down before sleeping, choosing to just plop down and go off to dreamland. Everyone gets cuts and bruises, but all act like babies and run to the medic expecting a quick fix-me-up all the time. Well guess what mother sons, you're in the army now. FORGET about living a comfortable, cushy life. YOU'RE a recruit, life is SUPPOSED to be tough. FIELD CAMP IS NOT A WALK IN THE PARK, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT SOME SHIT, AND SWALLOW WITHOUT ASKING WHY.
I came into army expecting to come out a better person, I don't know what the rest of the company expected, but it seems more and more like they were expecting to be pampered. "3G army, where we get the gain without the pain." I think someone forgot what it meant to be a soldier. We sing the songs, to defend our land and our people with our lives, but don't mean it. They forget what it means to be an army, what it means to fight for what you stand for. Complacency has set in, and the "disease in the SAF" which my senior officers love to repeat is slowly eating away at the "thinking soldier", who thinks more of his own personal welfare and safety then the security of our nation, who wants to chao keng, run away, escape.
Retreat.
I fear what happens when the button is pressed, when push comes to shove, and Singapore has to stare an enemy in the eye. How many will hold the line? I know the regulars would, they understand the importance of what they have to do. But what about those whom we need to count on most, the man on the street? When that mobilization notice flashes, will he answer? From what I see, the picture ain't pretty. I hope that older generations, those who understand the value of our defensive force, do their part, because it seems the younger generation seem only interested in reaping without sowing.
I want to do my part in the army, but now that all depends on what comes out on 7th March, the release of my A level results. I'm sure of my role in the army, in wanting to correct the 'disease' any way I can, and also to protect all that I love and cherish. The senior officers in our company, some of them having spent more than 20 years in the army, pass on their experience but more importantly, their fervour in maintaining Singapore the way they got it when they were recruits. A place of opportunity, safe and secure, and always ready to adapt to the next coming age.
I stand at the crossroads now, one week before A levels, two weeks before passing out, the future of my life to be revealed in the time ahead. In two weeks, I will know where to go. But for now, I can only do one thing. Be ready, and watch my front.
Don
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