Two words. Sensory overload. There's no other way to describe my first jump out of an airplane flying at 1000 feet, with so many things happening at the same time, it's hard to catch everything that happened, and savour each moment to its last detail. I guess the most tense moment was when you are still in the plane, doing the final checks before going out the door. Then the command to stand in the door comes, and you know you have about 10 seconds. But guess what, my detail was already over the DZ, and as the first jumper just got to the door, he was given the green light. "Green on, GO!" With a shocked expression permanantly plastered on his face, he was shoved right off the aircraft. "GO, GO, GO..." 1 second, 1 jumper out the door, and before I knew it, out I went. "BLAM!" The slipstream hits me pushing me to face the rear, and I saw the tail of the aircraft for about a microsecond, and the canopy of the jumper before me deploys. Falling yet still moving, I felt weightless till I was suddenly jerked back by my own canopy deploying. Checked my canopy, and then did my observation of the immediate area. I guess the beauty of the world at 1000 feet didn't come through to me then, but the more I reflected upon that moment, seeing the mental picture more clearly, it dawns on me how miniscule we are in this large world. Floating around at 1000 feet, feeling no earth beneath the soles of my boots, I felt so small, insignificant. And it was only 1000 feet.
The landing was horrid, as I literally went splat all over the runway. The impact just took the wind out of me, and if not for my training, I think all I would have done was lie on that runway and wallow in my pain. PJIs always taught us to land like a bag of potatos, rolling with the fall and distributing the energy around the body. But that day, all I could think of my landing was, well, mashed potato.
And that was the beginning of my week. Rest of it was tough training after another, and today, SMU interview and 01 Campfire. Went for the interview expecting to answer questions, but never expected to answer some questions of my own in the process. My little chat with the professors allowed me to gain an insight on why I take so much punishment nowadays and still live with it. "Endurement" as my sergeant puts it, stems from an innate desire not to let anyone down. Or put simply, I have a very big problem with losing face, and will do whatever it takes, even if it kills me. Maybe it's a Chinese thing.
Talking about Chinese, it's hard to miss the patriot games China and Japan are playing now. I found out about even while I was in camp, and that just shows the level of security concerns it raises. Chaos Theory anyone? Every small random event, seemingly unrelated and no one pays attention to. Then they grow, multiply. And then they rear their ugly heads, show their razor sharp teeth, and take a big bite out of the peace we have built. No one believes this will lead to war, not the angry young men protesting on the streets nor the officials on top who sit quietly and allow the protests to grow out of hand. I wonder how long a fuse this crisis between Japan and China has. Unless definite steps are taken to not only repair relations, but also to curb brinksmanship on both sides ( like taking all their ultra-nationalists out and putting one round square between their eyes), we're looking at a conflict which will shake the very foundations of this world. It took Europe two world wars to realise the dangers of nationalism and the necessity of union, forming inter-state organisations like the EU. I hope we don't need the same reminder to chuck aside our differences and just learn to live with each other, instead of throwing missiles and troops at each other.
Poring through the rest of the week's papers in order to prepare for my interview ( which resembled coffeeshop chatter, and totally wasted my effort in digesting a week's worth of news ), I found out more about the casino debate, the Pope, Ganga and Jamuna, and a most interesting perspective on the Terri Schiavo case. The fiasco surrounding her passing arose because no one seemed to respect the will to die, going away gracefully instead of stirring up a hornet's nest. Singapore has the AMD to allow anyone the right to pull the plug on himself/herself in terminal illnesses where continued treatment would most certainly be in vain, and the person would remain in a comatose state without the ability to say "Let me go". But the author argues for the will to live, where he states that if we had the same amount of conviction in dying peacefully put into living well, life would be so much the better. Summed up, life is a terminal disease, don't waste time bothering when the end comes, direct that energy into making the black-caped fella with a scythe regret putting you 6 feet under.
I come back from my first live descent somewhat changed I guess. Maybe everyone should be given the chance to be thrown off an aircraft at 1000 feet, then they'll see the world differently. A world where people are smaller than ants, and our daily concerns even more miniscule. A world where colour or religion or ethnicity or seniority or rank or class or simple differences don't matter, because the parachute doesn't care who the hell you are, it either deploys, or it doesn't based on pure circumstance. A world where you can truly see everything, and let the horizon surround you for about 30 seconds. A world without fear of death, because you'll be too busy living each and every last second in the air.
That's the world, from 1000 feet.
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