Jinling is the chioest girl on Earth. she's very smart too. And I love her oh so very much, not because of that. But because she is who she is. And I want her to have a very nice birthday, and give Piggy lots of love, even if the tickets were a better present. Muacks...

Don Don

Post mortem

I am human. As any other living, breathing person here on Earth, I am entitled to my own personal character. I may often be mild-mannered and have a cool disposition, but that does not mean I cannot become fiery at times. As like any other, I possess a temper, which I choose to control most times, but not all. Sometimes I lose it, but then again, is it not human to lose your temper at times? My temper may not show itself often, but that does not mean it is absent.

I make assumptions, but name me one person who doesn’t. Who wouldn’t assume that your own heart would carry on beating the next moment? Or that night will not follow after day? I make assumptions based on valid observations, or so I hope they are. If I don’t, then how am I supposed to carry on living in a world where nothing can be certain, or close to certainty? However, assumptions are one thing. Insinuation is another. One is something which one makes after observation, the other is implied by others already, in what they may say. It is because of this I watch the words I say, letting them pass by my gray matter before they leave my mouth.

But then again, I am only human. I get tired. My mind becomes lazy, it lets things get by. Things slip off my tongue, accidental but nonetheless still wrong. I make mistakes. But the apology exists for this reason. Because we would definitely make mistakes in our lifetime, the word ‘sorry’ exists for us to use it, and gives us another chance to correct the wrong. I have apologized many times in my lifetime, and though it may be a difficult word to use at times, I would use it if it was warranted. If it was warranted.

I have certain ways to deal with people. I love my friends with words, I treat all others with silence. Sometimes silence is better. With those you don’t know, it allows you to listen better to what they have to say. With those you may disagree with, it allows both parties to think clearer, and make for better conversation later. For those you hate, sometimes silence is a whole lot less vulgar. Whatever the case, silence lets us think about what was said before, and what needs to be said after.

When I am silent, I am thinking. I am trying to understand. I am certainly not slacking. There is a reason why I like silence, it allows me my own space sometimes. To space out my thoughts, let them run their course. Like in the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”, I don’t understand why people must fill the air with words. What’s wrong with silence sometimes? When two people are tired and having a bad day, wouldn’t it be worse to have both parties talking? Words which don’t carry what they mean get passed around, and worse still, tempers fly. Often over the simplest and most stupid issues we can find, which shouldn’t have surfaced anyway.

I am having a lousy week. It may not be worse than yours, and definitely does not compare to the Israeli soldier having to storm an enemy-occupied house or the Lebanese who just had his home shelled. But comparison does not make anything better. It never does. If it’s bad, it’s bad. Right now, I don’t feel like hearing another word. I don’t want to apologise. I cannot tolerate the slightest mistake. My temper is on a short leash. I want to have my OWN time. And you can’t do anything about it, why?

Because I’m simply being human. And since it takes one to know one, the only thing you can do for me? Understand, and empathise.

I am human, so are you. Let’s start acting like so.